Adopting Fatherhood

I'm writing this from a hotel room in Kalamazoo.  Gladys and The Kid are safely at home, while I'm safely off the road for the night.  What was going to be a one day trip for work turned into an overnight stay, with near whiteout conditions on I-94.  When I called Gladys to tell her I was on my way to the hotel, she put the phone on speaker so The Kid could "talk" with me.  Instead, The Kid grabbed the phone from her and tried to kiss it when I was talking.  As I talked with Gladys, The Kid kept jabbering and trying to grab the phone from her Mommy.  I am heartbroken.  This is the first time since she's been placed with us that I haven't been able to say good night to her in person.  My reasons for stopping are sound and there will be plenty of nights in her life that I won't be able to kiss her goodnight myself, but I had hoped to delay that for just a few weeks longer.  It is amazing how quickly The Kid has stolen my heart. 

The Kid turns one today. It is amazing to me that one year ago, Gladys and I had decided to stop any further fertility treatments. We had researched adoption and foster care several months before, so we knew that with the end of the treatments, a new phase in our life would begin.  We had no idea it would begin so quickly. At the same time, The Kid started her life journey.  At four days old, she was taken home by her foster mother.  Her case wound through the court system, where her biological parents custodial rights were eventually terminated.  As other family members were identified and eventually found to either be unwilling or unfit to be parents, Gladys and I were moving to a new apartment and finishing our paperwork in order to become foster parents with the intent to adopt. Our lives came together a few weeks after we turned in our final paperwork.  We received a call in mid July, asking if we would consider adopting instead of becoming foster p...

The Kid and I enjoying the Plymouth Ice Festival Words are powerful. Different people will apply different meanings to the same word.  The word ugly is a perfect example.  In my family, ugly describes negative behavior but, as a kid, I interpreted the word as the negative of physical beauty.  The result was a inadvertant lowering of my self-esteem. Tone is also key to ensuring words are efficacious.  Kind words said with venom are interpreted very differently than venomous words said with a kind tone. As a result, I have tried to be careful about the words I use with The Kid.  For example, I want the word, "no," to mean something when I say it, so I try not to use it often. I have also tried to remain conscious of the tone of voice I use with The Kid.  For someone who uses sarcasm incessantly, this has been a large undertaking.  Thankfully, my desire to make sure this child has the best chance to live a healthy, happy, productive life usual...