Adopting Fatherhood

Toddlers are dangerous. They like doing things such as attempting to run at full speed between their dad's legs or my personal favorite, decide to end cuddle time with a nice tap dance routine on your lap. All new fathers should be given a cup and instructions about when to start wearing it because it can seem like your toddler wants to make sure they are the last child you'll ever have. And as all dads know, there are the WWE style elbow drops to the gut and head-butts that would make Rowdy Roddy Piper cry with envy in store for each of us. Like the honey badger, toddlers will put almost anything into their mouths, especially if you've told them no.  They will chase pets around the house until the pets are begging for you to find them a new home. In some ways, they just don't give a shit. But then they do something cute, like clap when Whip It by Devo is played. Or they start singing your special song for them when you're getting them ready for bed. Or the...

To my daughter in 10 years, Well kid, we've made it this far as a little family. I hope you feel loved and safe everyday you come home from school.  I also hope you understand that you deserve to be loved and treated with respect, now and for the rest of your life. You're getting older now, and rather than give you a bunch of life advice that you probably don't want to hear, I will ask you to continue doing a few things that came naturally to you when you were a little girl. Feel free to read this away from your friends, I know you're at an age where reading a letter from Papa isn't cool, especially one he wrote to you a few weeks before the first anniversary of the day he met you. 1. Keep singing One of my favorite things about my walks with you and Barney our first summer as a family was your singing. It usually started by the time we crossed the street over to Indian Village. I don't know what you were singing, but it was beautiful because you were ...

The Kid's Tiger preparing for her first flight. As much as I respect the men who stay in their children's lives, I have little, if any, respect for a man who can just turn his back on his progeny. I'm a kid who had two "dads" decide they could walk away, so I admit to having a strong bias here. Please keep that in mind when I say I have lost any respect I ever had for Wally "Famous" Amos. When I mistakenly took my second (and final) shot at making a multi-level marketing business work, I fully bought into their system of reading the recommended books once a month and listening to every recommended CD I could afford.  A few of the recommended books held Amos up as an excellent example of someone who took the lemons life handed him and made a cookie empire out of them. Even after he sold his initial business and rights to his likeness, he was portrayed as someone who just couldn't stay away from the business, so he launched Uncle Noname's Coo...

Lets get one thing out of the way, I did not go to Boston to meet with Mayor Menino. Although, I will gladly fly back in order to meet with his staff for planning, should he ever accept my invitation . Instead, I was there for a Social Media and Web Analytics conference , something of great interest to me professionally. As I was packing, I snuck Tiger away in my backpack so we could make a cool photo album for The Kid. The one thing I regret about going to this particular conference is not scheduling time for myself to wander around the city. The Greenway is beautiful and outside of dinner with a childhood friend, I didn't have much of an opportunity to dine like a local. Luckily, this is not the only time I'll be headed back to Beantown, I'm quite confident of that. During lunch yesterday, Tiger and I snuck away from the conference to do a little exploring along the Fort Point Channel. We happily stumbled upon the Design Museum Boston's Street Seats exhi...

Sometimes I think The Kid knows I'm a sucker. She knows I love her big, expressive brown eyes. She knows I love to pick her up and dance with her. She knows I love hearing her try to say please. She knows I'll read the same story over and over while she sits on her potty, regardless of how stiff my back gets on the hard tile floor. She knows that many things can be smoothed over with her Papa with a simple hug. I struggle with wanting The Kid to know I love her and I will always support her, and the knowledge that caving in to a 19 month old is a recipe for disaster.  Tonight was one of those nights where I thought I was getting played. We read the same five books twice as she tried to use the potty (potty training is brand new for her, so I'm trying to be as patient as possible). She was especially goofy when I was trying to brush her teeth. When Gladys closed the door, and the two of us were left alone for bedtime stories, The Kid decided it was time to run around h...

The Lingholm-Santiago family Dear Mayor Menino, By now, your spokesperson has already done all the apologies necessary to the citizens of Detroit for your comments in the New York Times Magazine about blowing up Detroit. This Detroiter forgives you, even if my fellow denizens do not because I am confident your comment was about our ineffective city government. However, your comment did show some insensitivity for people like me and my little family who call the city home. It will be used by people on the right of the political spectrum as proof that other mayors see Detroit as a lost cause, and by the left who see Detroit as an innocent victim of failed anti-labor policies. Because I feel you deserve a deeper understanding of Detroit before you are pulled further into this morass of conversation, I invite you to have dinner with my family in Detroit. I promise a small dinner party with others who live, work, and play within the city limits to help deepen your understanding o...

Great Grandma Ema returned home yesterday after a lengthy hospital and short-term nursing home stay as she recovered from a broken rib. Having her close to us was fun for visits during the week, but it was high time for her to return to the farm.   So we packed up The Kid and headed to the farm for a visit. Ema had a Teddy Bear for her to play with, which we quickly discovered had a messy diaper, so The Kid got to work wiping the bear's bottom clean! She also had a blast in the playhouse, pretending to serve me all sorts of food.   But the highlight of the day was our trip to Moo-ville . There are many things that make this a fun excursion for any kid. The petting zoo has a calf, goats, a pig, sheep, bantam chickens, rabbits, a horse and a donkey. Hands down, watching The Kid greet every animal was the best fun I've had in days. We did intentionally steer her away from the sandbox, for fear we would never get her to leave. We also skipped the dairy tour. I'm sure i...