Our changing bedtime routine

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As The Kid gets older, our bedtime routine has obviously changed. She brushes and flosses her own teeth. She puts on her own pajamas. Since she's potty trained, we don't need to put on nighttime pullups. She picks out her own books, and insists on turning the pages for me. About once a week, she lets me sing my song to her, although she insists that she's getting too big for it.

One thing hasn't changed. I still cuddle her until she falls asleep.  I don't have the heart to be a cry-it-out parent.

This causes some late nights, especially if I have work to do after she goes to bed. But I can't shake the feeling that I still have a lot of work to do to strengthen our bond and our bedtime routine is part of strengthening it. The Kid didn't meet us until she was seven months old, and didn't start living with us until she was nine months old. She had an incredibly loving and supportive foster family, so I am confident that she has known what love feels like from the day she went home from the hospital.

I know my feeling is irrational, but I still can't shake it. I am also steeling myself against the day she starts asking about her biological parents, hoping that our relationship is strong enough for her to always come home to her Mommy and Papa. 

Maybe this is the lament of most adoptive parents. Maybe this is just my justification for not wanting to hear my little girl cry. Regardless, I'll keep rocking her until she falls asleep for as long as I can because one day soon, she will be too cool and grown up for cuddling with her Papa. Until then, I'll put up with as many sleep-deprived nights as I can.  

   

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